Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I'm not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you've felt that way

 If you're lonely when you're alone, you're in bad company.

 I exist, that is all

, and I find it nauseating

 Our trust in love was broken plenty of times. So give your lover space, give them time and comfort..

For this life is tough,
And to trust again is hard,

And to love again is harder & tougher..

You do want love but you're afraid things will turn against you like the previous times. Dear I feel you, I understand your concern, and that you don't wanna lose yourself all again. It takes you to trust one right person, and all these doubts will be diminished and eliminated..

Love heals, it doesn't break nor shatters your heart.
What actually shatters is, the absence of love, the lack of it.
That's why we should be loving ourselves, for when others do not love us, or stop loving us, ourself will do the job, and prevent that pain and shattering from happening.

They all taught us to hate ourselves, our thoughts and our mistakes, our flaws and our realities.. and we became so good at it in a way we refused the love given to us.

You have to start loving yourself, so you can feel all the love the world is trying to give you.

 "Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Most are toxic to our being simply because their needs and way of existing in the world force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people for us. And as hard as it is, we have to let them go. Life is hard enough without being around people who bring you down, and as much as you care, you can’t destroy yourself for the sake of someone else. You have to make your wellbeing a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone you care about, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful — you have every right to leave and create a safer space for yourself."

 “and all I want is to heal, 

to grow again and remedy my scars. 

What an elegant touch 'healing' has 

on the human soul!”

And will it fit?

If it has to, it will...

As it has done everything that should have a hole in your life and if not, it has to remain in a memory.

It is the magic of life, that reserves for you and puts at your fingertips what is there for you, while what does not suit what you are looking for and really need -which on too many occasions does not correspond to what you want- ends up disappearing. 

You insist that as the days go by the puzzle of your life is being put together: piece by piece, person by person, job by job, city by city, word by word, moment by moment...

And what a wonder when everything fits together 

without 

forcing.

It doesn’t matter

how it has gone

because now we’re only getting
stronger

🌻

The more I see

the less I know

The more I like to let it go

🌻

 You become

Who you surround yourself with

🌻

//

Oh, here you are
There's nothing left to say
You're not supposed to be that way

Did they push you out
Did they throw you away?

Touch me now and I don't care
When you take me I'm not there
Almost human, but I'll never be the same

I never put you down
I never pushed you away

Long way down
I don't think I'll make it on my own
Long way down
I don't want to live in here alone
Long way down
I don't think I'll make it on my own

I never put you down
I never pushed you away
You're not supposed to be that way

Take another piece of me
Give my mind a new disease
And the black and white world never fades to gray

One has to get used to not getting to the bottom of everything.
Voltaire wrote “Doubt is an uncomfortable condition, but certainty is a ridiculous one.”

You can’t know anything for sure because there isn’t an absolute truth nor reality that we are capable of understand fully. 

That’s why we are left with only what’s weird, hurtful and distressing: doubt.

Is like trying to see the interior of a whole house with just one candle. As you pass through you light up the way, but what’s behind you darkens up.

🌞

“Dear Milena,

I wish the world were ending tomorrow. Then I could take the next train, arrive at your doorstep in Vienna, and say: “Come with me, Milena. We are going to love each other without scruples or fear or restraint. Because the world is ending tomorrow.” 

Perhaps we don’t love unreasonably because we think we have time, or have to reckon with time. But what if we don't have time? Or what if time, as we know it, is irrelevant? 

Ah, if only the world were ending tomorrow. We could help each other very much.”

“I can’t feel a thing; All mournful petal storms are dancing inside the very private spring of my head.”

“When one is alone, imperfection must be endured every minute of the day; a couple, however, does not have to put up with it.

Aren’t our eyes made to be torn out, and our hearts for the same purpose?

At the same time it’s really not that bad; that’s an exaggeration and a lie, everything is exaggeration, the only truth is longing.

But even the truth of longing is not so much its own truth; it’s really an expression for everything else, which is a lie. This sounds crazy and distorted, but it’s true.




Moreover, perhaps it isn’t love when I say you are what I love the most - you are the knife I turn inside myself, this is love. This, my dear, is love.”

In the language of love

, we simply call it "home".

.

I don’t want to be ignorant or uninformed, but i find that if i spend most of the day reading the news and looking at social media i lose my mind. 

I don’t just love going out into nature to clear my head, i NEED to go out into nature to clear my head. 

I need to go out and remind myself that my health and well-being cannot be defined by the opinions of strangers and the barrage of screen based information. 

If you’re losing your mind just try this; go outside for a few hours, and leave your phone at home.

to you, forever ago 🌹

A year ago today at this very moment I was going through one of the hardest moments in my life, if not the hardest yet. 

All been said, I haven’t had the most pleasant of lives experiences but overall I’ve always felt kind of lucky. But if you could die on the spot instantly because of sadness, this would have probably been it for me. I’m not some self entitled crazy ass, and I know most people won’t care but I’d like to share my experience, so whoever does care can have a think about it.

You know how you always put off meeting up with friends?

I was SO excited to be living on the same city with my best friend again!!! I had been very busy and she had been very busy also, but she was fiiiinally going to come to my new home and meet my other half. And I waited, and waited. Even though she was never late. Even though she shoulda left work 2 hours ago and had her phone off. I waited. But she never made it. 

I called her brother, worried sick: she had an accident couple of hours before making her way to my house. Died on the spot.

I know it sounds dramatic, it fucking was. I’ve sadly lost a couple of friends already, but this was different. I’ve been feeling like a part of me was missing this whole year. I’ve been confused, and angry, lonely, sad, and frustrated. 

To say now that I’m REALLY not looking for pity. Pity her, she was just 30, just got her dream job for what she’d been studying her whole life. Pity her family who just had to spend their first christmas without the kindest person on this Earth. But seriously, don’t give ME your attention. 

Dealing with this it’s been really hard but I’m staying so much more positive - mostly because I feel like wherever she is, she might still freaking hit me if I don’t. 

And I still miss her so much, everyday, but I don’t feel like she totally left me anymore. Yeah, she’s not a call away as always, but all she did for me through the years is still with me. 

Nothing is taking that away. There are some people that really mark you for life and see you for who you really are.

Why am I sharing all this? 

Because I was lucky to had some kind of closure the night before over the phone: we were a good pair of pansies who said how much we loved each other all the time. 

So the reason is that I think everyone needs to know and have present at all times how important is to take care of your friends and family. 

You really don’t know when they’ll be gone. 

Text your mom right now, tell that friend how much you love her, thank that other friend for always been there, kiss your dad. 

Do it. For them, for you and for my friend Inma. 

Please, let her memory inspire you to give some love to the people who deserve it in your life.

I can say with great certainty and absolute honesty that I did not know what love was until I knew what love was not.

In plays and poems someone understands,

There’s something makes us more than blood and bone,

And more than biological demands.

For me love’s like the wind unseen, unknown.

I see the trees are bending where it’s been.

I know that it leaves wreckage where it’s blown.

I really don’t know what I love you means.

I think it means don’t leave me here alone.

And now here is my secret,
a very simple secret:
It is only with the heart
that one can see rightly;
what is essential
is invisible
to the eye. 

Show your teeth
Want so much to watch you hang
Show your teeth
Want so much to watch you cry
Show your teeth
Want so much to watch you hang
Show your teeth
I love this
Show your teeth
Show your teeth
Want so much to watch you cry
Show your teeth
I want so much

Someone told me once "you don't need to have an opinion about everything".
Not that I was THAT bad, but it did made me think things through more than once.


Goddamn, life is so much better since I took that advice! Seems so obvious but it's really some life changing shit.

I can't believe how much negativity we put onto ourselves for literally no reason and without even knowing it sometimes.

🥕🥕🥕

restless .

             . eyes

in all the good times I find myself
longing 
for change

and in the bad times I fear myself

you found the light in me
that I couldn't find



. I miss you

---

なんくるないさ

untitled unsettled

.
.
.
don't ever fcking let anyone
tell you
they're giving you enough

as if you were
too much

don't ever forget
everyone
deserves what they give
back and
what they want
you're allowed to decide

they are
the ones
not enough

.
.
run away.

.oh Hai

So these things happened

/

https://www.facebook.com/Sepukumetal

ghosts

~

.

/

"if the world could know what i know of you..

if everyone could know you as i do when you open up up your mind for me..

if they could see you with my eyes.. 

everyone

absolutely everyone would be so crazy about you as i am"

*

sit down in front of you

,curiosity
i didnt know that i know you

/

little red hiddingwolf

.who was going to eat who?

.run*

*

.shits I never finished

*as usual*

/

and if she goes out alone and has
two drinks more
than she should
she forgets that she loves me











what can i get you?

/whereisjuliet?*

/you

lets watch the world

.burning out*

.

why
are
you
running
away
?

*

.calm

.breathe

>

cant eat, cant think. just paint. 

I dont wanna wake up without you in the morning.

.said a Ms Noone to nobody
ever

/

just because you know how someone is with ppl, what could wear or what kind of music could listen doesnt mean that you know him. 

there is a lot of excuses to blind yourself. you can say "i cant love him cos i dont know him" but...
who really does?


do you know who you are?

///

feel

denn

if you wanna something of me

you just should forbid me to do it

itod

.if you are going to bite me

do it

otherwise dont even bark at me.

kcab

so ironic.

"forever" never lasts ever.

etah

. dont do half things

. if you love someone, love him with all your heart

. when you hate someone, hate him till it hurts

*

take me crazy.

take me for a walk on a leash to tighten, make me suffer, fan the fire, put me out to dry like a wet rag.
dont loose the strings until it's too late.
call me silly.
forgive. forget everything that has been said so far.
go away but dont let go of my hand.
lets start again.
twisted dreams
to burst.
trap your fingers.
i will lick them till they doesnt taste honey.
till they stop being honey.                                                              go out, denies everything and then returns.

I'll buy you a coffee.

hot, sure.

and no sugar. breathless.

.ecaf das

would*

and i'm happy

and i'm so fucking tired of not realising it.

z

if you fall, I'll get you up.
if I can't




, I lie with you.

*

today


i dont wanna be anything.

.

.53|<3|V14

.countdown

mi blog esta muerto. por que sigo escribiendo? blablablablabla

se que alguien leera esto algun dia. alguien que no este aqui por casualidad.
supongo que esto te interesa.

ya tienes que estar enfermo.

.c

.si tienes que recordar quien eres, no estabas siendo tu.


,ser azul no es malo
hay personas que se empeñan en hacerte creer que lo que les asusta es malo, y te hara desembocar en cosas negativas. hay personas que huyen de si mismas, que se autocensuran, o que simplemente no se escuchan. como tambien hay personas que viven sin hacer nada con sus vidas. gente mediocre. como el gordo que no tiene hambre, pero no deja de comer. para mi eso es peor. deberian morir.

no hay nada de malo en enamorarse de la  muerte. y recurrir a ella no tiene por que ser cobarde.

las personas suelen decir esto porque es la respuesta facil. la prefabricada. la que te enseñan.
pero, quien la ha pensado antes?


es dificil que alguien pueda explicarte esto bien, o argumentarlo creiblemente. la mayoria ya estan muertos.

yo lo podria intentar, soy pesima explicandome si esto acarrea mostrar algun tipo de sentimiento profundo al respecto, porque lo veo inutil, como ni abrir la boca.

*

.sadness.

.I love you.
,don't leave me ever

i

.que soy capaz de hacerte feliz con la ropa puesta

,y eso te acojona.

yfduygb

.no hay nada entre tu y yo

 .NADA

 .nada, ni aire

 .ni ropa *

/

.no eres el movil que tienes, ni el coche, ni el sueldo, ni los posters que tengas en tu habitacion, ni esa coleccion que podrias vender por el sueldo de un mes, ni un instrumento, ni un procesador...

.apaga el movil, vende el coche, compra felicidad con tu sueldo, que los posters te hagan poner musica, regala tu coleccion de cosas a alguien que vaya a cuidarla mejor que tu, haz musica, leeme...

.se feliz

.es lo mas importante
.el dinero viene y va, la estabilidad en la que crees que estas tan solo es social
.escuchate
.llamate tonto
.riete de ti
.duerme poco, sueña mucho, sientete bien al comer comida sana, al cuidarte, al mimar tu cuerpo
.eres todo lo que tienes
.quierete
.mimate
.hazte feliz

.no es hacer feliz a nadie, no es aferrarte a una carrera, no es que tu familia se sienta orgullosa...
.el sentido de la vida
.de TU vida
.eres tu

.sientete feliz al llorar, porque sientes, porque te hace crecer
.enamorate

de la vida.

.corre, rie, salta, grita, escribe, mete la mano en tu armario cerrando los ojos y ponte lo primero que toques, sal asi a la calle, sientete vivo, siente el aire, la lluvia, la musica, la vida.

/)0(3

.

.que vas a hacer
.cuando descubras
.que
.follar
.provoca
.cariño
?
*

o

.be careful

n

.nobody knows.

.the way is gonna be

8

.y si un dia fuesemos en el mismo metro
sin saberlo?

.me sentirias?

.te espero en el tejado

.te quiero chica triste

.hoy no quiero ser nada

irf

"No hagas nada a la mitad. Si amas a alguien,ámala con toda el alma. Cuando vas a trabajar, trabaja hasta el culo. Cuando odies a alguien, ódialo hasta que duela."

.h.R.

s

arañazos *

j

http://www.fotolog.com/resaca_emocional/

...si te sobra cama y te falta porno
,que como nos de por pensar, nos arrepentimos *

panettone #640000

panettone #640000

escuchar musica de ese tiempo

en el que era lo unico que te salvaba los dias

, _rap

.recordar.
.
.me

0eri9fovcp

,tu me diste tanta fiebre ...

yo te di perra por liebre

y nos quedamos en paz

ez

Give me, my Romeo. And when I shall die,

take him and cut him out in little stars.

Come, gentle night, come, loving, black-browed

[p]';87thyr.iy

.que no creo en principes de colores
,ni en el amor
,ni en el hombre ideal
o en la monogamia

,dura
.borde
.mala
.fria

...de puertas pa' fuera...

y634

Se fue su par, pensó: \"that's life\"









,que si sale sola, y se toma tres copas de más se le olvida que me quiere...

]

.asco.
.repulsion.
.muerete.

.pero soy buena actriz

d

.sonries


y vences al mundo

[;k;

,mirror

what are u looking for?

what are u waiting for?

'

tu imagen me persigue todo el dia
todos los dias

prometo no amarte mas
,prometo no querer estar contigo
,prometo no pensarte
,no ponerme celosa
,prometo no echarte de menos


que quieres de mi?

dejame dormir
,al menos



prometo no soñar contigo

.promesas incumplidas

;

dudo que exista alguien capaz de volver del reves mi sonrisa invertida.

.dimekemeekivoko

retroceder en el tiempo

.y desconocerte otra vez

.

estas ahi?

.save me

.

Bob Marley dijo:

"Puedes no ser su primero, su último o único. 

Ella amó antes y puede amar de nuevo. Pero si ella te ama ahora, que otra cosa importa?

 Ella no es perfecta, tú tampoco lo eres, y ustedes dos nunca serán perfectos. Pero si ella puede hacerte reir al menos una vez, te hace pensar dos veces, si admite ser humana y cometer errores, no la dejes ir y dale lo mejor de ti. Ella no va a recitarte poesía, no está pensando en ti en todo momento, pero te dará una parte de ella que sabe que podrías romper, su corazón... No la lastimes, no la cambies, y no esperes de ella más de lo que puede darte. No analices. Sonríe cuando te haga feliz, grita cuando te enoje y extráñala cuando no esté. Ama con todo tu ser cuando recibas su amor. Porque no existen las chicas perfectas, pero siempre habrá una chica que es perfecta para ti"

/

,no olvides que esa chica triste era la que te hacia sonreir

;

ahora se que lo mejor cuando hay que hablar de dos
es empezar por una misma


ya sabras la situacion, aqui todo esta peor

,pero al menos aun respiro

no tienes que decirlo

no vas a volver

,te conozco bien

.

.donde estas ?

*

.your kisses are not what I wanted
.your kisses are not what I crave
.your kisses may be a beautiful art

,but all I ever wanted was in your heart






all I really need is you to confort me
,you don't understand

~

vamos
,amor


hazme daño

.ahora que todavia me duele

+-

todas esas cosas que me parecian vitales

ya ni se cuales son
ni quiero

.no me importan

{

si vas a morderme
,muerdeme





.sino
ni me ladres *

.

.be different

}

_creer que siempre soy yo el problema

que problema?

.vivir leyendo entre lineas de cada frase que dices

.dices que podrias irte

y estaba prohibido prometer cosas que no se cumplirian

cambios

y te quise porque un dia fuiste alguien diferente

.

"-supuse que no eras de esas"

...de esas que?

=

confiar ciegamente en una extraña
que sientes*
y que ama la vida

casi como yo amo la muerte

empezamos bien

.ya no se si tirarme al tren o al maquinista

/

estaba rompiendo la regla numero uno de la supervivencia,

-no mover un dedo por una causa perdida

tragandome mis miedos, pretendiendo que no soy esa
insegura
que se siente sola
llora
y
lo maldice todo, lo odia todo
porque lo teme todo

-por ti

ya no se si no lo piensas porque no sabes o porque no quieres

,ya no juego mas 

conmigo

.no voy a pelearme conmigo misma por ti

/

azul .


todo sabe a sal
se desliza por la garganta si miras al cielo
y notas como va bajando
lentamente
y sin pedir permiso

hacia tu estomago


me falta un sentido
y vuelvo a sentir el frio de mis manos frias

brr brr

y no quiero saber nada.


porque hoy solo quiero dormir conmigo.

,b.a

.Prefiero un gato a un perro.
.Porque el gato te araña, es infiel, te ignora, se escapa, Pero sabes, que apesar de todo, no podría vivir sin ti.
.En cambio, el perro es tonto, no sabe nada, te obedece hasta el absurdo.

*

-Sabes? Effy tenía 4 años la primera vez que me ganó jugando al escondite. La estuve buscando horas… Cuando por fin la encontré, ella sonrió. ¿Conoces su sonrisa?
La de “No conoces nada de mí… y nunca lo harás”. Es como un tipo de magia. Ella es muy buena ocultando cosas, escondiéndolas, evitándolas… Pero sí que la conozco, y sé que tiene tanto amor guardado en su corazón que la idea de sacarlo, enseñar sus cartas, le asusta como la muerte.

.

and with all the noise I spoke in my ear
 ,i kept thinking that any moment we could kiss

*

él era olvidadizo y ella fácil de olvidar .

-

Ésta eres tu, los ojos cerrados, bajo la lluvia. Nunca imaginaste que harías algo así, nunca te habías visto como… mmm… no sé como describirlo, como, una de esas personas a las que les gusta la luna o que pasan horas contemplando las olas o una puesta de sol. Seguro que sabes de qué gente estoy hablando… o tal vez no. Da igual, a ti te gusta estar así, desafiando el frío, sintiendo como el agua empapa tu camiseta y te moja la piel. Y notar como la tierra se vuelve mullida bajo tus pies y... el olor, y el sonido de la lluvia al golpear las hojas. Todas esas cosas que dicen en libros que no has leído… ésta eres tú. Quien lo iba a decir, tú.