Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I'm not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you've felt that way

 If you're lonely when you're alone, you're in bad company.

 I exist, that is all

, and I find it nauseating

 Our trust in love was broken plenty of times. So give your lover space, give them time and comfort..

For this life is tough,
And to trust again is hard,

And to love again is harder & tougher..

You do want love but you're afraid things will turn against you like the previous times. Dear I feel you, I understand your concern, and that you don't wanna lose yourself all again. It takes you to trust one right person, and all these doubts will be diminished and eliminated..

Love heals, it doesn't break nor shatters your heart.
What actually shatters is, the absence of love, the lack of it.
That's why we should be loving ourselves, for when others do not love us, or stop loving us, ourself will do the job, and prevent that pain and shattering from happening.

They all taught us to hate ourselves, our thoughts and our mistakes, our flaws and our realities.. and we became so good at it in a way we refused the love given to us.

You have to start loving yourself, so you can feel all the love the world is trying to give you.

 "Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Most are toxic to our being simply because their needs and way of existing in the world force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people for us. And as hard as it is, we have to let them go. Life is hard enough without being around people who bring you down, and as much as you care, you can’t destroy yourself for the sake of someone else. You have to make your wellbeing a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone you care about, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful — you have every right to leave and create a safer space for yourself."

 “and all I want is to heal, 

to grow again and remedy my scars. 

What an elegant touch 'healing' has 

on the human soul!”

And will it fit?

If it has to, it will...

As it has done everything that should have a hole in your life and if not, it has to remain in a memory.

It is the magic of life, that reserves for you and puts at your fingertips what is there for you, while what does not suit what you are looking for and really need -which on too many occasions does not correspond to what you want- ends up disappearing. 

You insist that as the days go by the puzzle of your life is being put together: piece by piece, person by person, job by job, city by city, word by word, moment by moment...

And what a wonder when everything fits together 

without 

forcing.

It doesn’t matter

how it has gone

because now we’re only getting
stronger

🌻

The more I see

the less I know

The more I like to let it go

🌻

 You become

Who you surround yourself with

🌻

//

Oh, here you are
There's nothing left to say
You're not supposed to be that way

Did they push you out
Did they throw you away?

Touch me now and I don't care
When you take me I'm not there
Almost human, but I'll never be the same

I never put you down
I never pushed you away

Long way down
I don't think I'll make it on my own
Long way down
I don't want to live in here alone
Long way down
I don't think I'll make it on my own

I never put you down
I never pushed you away
You're not supposed to be that way

Take another piece of me
Give my mind a new disease
And the black and white world never fades to gray

One has to get used to not getting to the bottom of everything.
Voltaire wrote “Doubt is an uncomfortable condition, but certainty is a ridiculous one.”

You can’t know anything for sure because there isn’t an absolute truth nor reality that we are capable of understand fully. 

That’s why we are left with only what’s weird, hurtful and distressing: doubt.

Is like trying to see the interior of a whole house with just one candle. As you pass through you light up the way, but what’s behind you darkens up.

🌞

“Dear Milena,

I wish the world were ending tomorrow. Then I could take the next train, arrive at your doorstep in Vienna, and say: “Come with me, Milena. We are going to love each other without scruples or fear or restraint. Because the world is ending tomorrow.” 

Perhaps we don’t love unreasonably because we think we have time, or have to reckon with time. But what if we don't have time? Or what if time, as we know it, is irrelevant? 

Ah, if only the world were ending tomorrow. We could help each other very much.”

“I can’t feel a thing; All mournful petal storms are dancing inside the very private spring of my head.”

“When one is alone, imperfection must be endured every minute of the day; a couple, however, does not have to put up with it.

Aren’t our eyes made to be torn out, and our hearts for the same purpose?

At the same time it’s really not that bad; that’s an exaggeration and a lie, everything is exaggeration, the only truth is longing.

But even the truth of longing is not so much its own truth; it’s really an expression for everything else, which is a lie. This sounds crazy and distorted, but it’s true.




Moreover, perhaps it isn’t love when I say you are what I love the most - you are the knife I turn inside myself, this is love. This, my dear, is love.”

In the language of love

, we simply call it "home".

.