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 The other day on tiktok I saw a video of a 4 year old girl eating her lunch. Her mom said “can I have a sip of your drink?” She looked at her mom right in the eyes and said a clear: NO. Then, she went right back to eating her food.

Her mother said: ok. She didn’t pressure her. She didn’t make her wrong for having a natural desire to have her own drink. She didn’t say “nice girls share.” Because the most important person in her world, her mother, respected her no she learned a valuable lesson. It’s ok to say no. And healthy adults will respect it. In the future, when someone doesn’t respect her no, she’ll understand it’s them, not her who is the issue. 

Many of us have been raised by mothers who couldn’t say no. Who were in compromised situations, and who loved us very much and tried to protect us. They did this by trying to make us be easy, not difficult, and by modeling how to people please. Riddled with their own internal shame, they thought the only way to be loved was to never upset or disappoint those around them. The basis of people pleasing.

As we collectively wake up, we can break this pattern that puts so many women in dangerous, abusive, and compromised situations. 

Please tag and share to bring awareness to this pattern #selfhealers