to you, forever ago 🌹

A year ago today at this very moment I was going through one of the hardest moments in my life, if not the hardest yet. 

All been said, I haven’t had the most pleasant of lives experiences but overall I’ve always felt kind of lucky. But if you could die on the spot instantly because of sadness, this would have probably been it for me. I’m not some self entitled crazy ass, and I know most people won’t care but I’d like to share my experience, so whoever does care can have a think about it.

You know how you always put off meeting up with friends?

I was SO excited to be living on the same city with my best friend again!!! I had been very busy and she had been very busy also, but she was fiiiinally going to come to my new home and meet my other half. And I waited, and waited. Even though she was never late. Even though she shoulda left work 2 hours ago and had her phone off. I waited. But she never made it. 

I called her brother, worried sick: she had an accident couple of hours before making her way to my house. Died on the spot.

I know it sounds dramatic, it fucking was. I’ve sadly lost a couple of friends already, but this was different. I’ve been feeling like a part of me was missing this whole year. I’ve been confused, and angry, lonely, sad, and frustrated. 

To say now that I’m REALLY not looking for pity. Pity her, she was just 30, just got her dream job for what she’d been studying her whole life. Pity her family who just had to spend their first christmas without the kindest person on this Earth. But seriously, don’t give ME your attention. 

Dealing with this it’s been really hard but I’m staying so much more positive - mostly because I feel like wherever she is, she might still freaking hit me if I don’t. 

And I still miss her so much, everyday, but I don’t feel like she totally left me anymore. Yeah, she’s not a call away as always, but all she did for me through the years is still with me. 

Nothing is taking that away. There are some people that really mark you for life and see you for who you really are.

Why am I sharing all this? 

Because I was lucky to had some kind of closure the night before over the phone: we were a good pair of pansies who said how much we loved each other all the time. 

So the reason is that I think everyone needs to know and have present at all times how important is to take care of your friends and family. 

You really don’t know when they’ll be gone. 

Text your mom right now, tell that friend how much you love her, thank that other friend for always been there, kiss your dad. 

Do it. For them, for you and for my friend Inma. 

Please, let her memory inspire you to give some love to the people who deserve it in your life.

I can say with great certainty and absolute honesty that I did not know what love was until I knew what love was not.

In plays and poems someone understands,

There’s something makes us more than blood and bone,

And more than biological demands.

For me love’s like the wind unseen, unknown.

I see the trees are bending where it’s been.

I know that it leaves wreckage where it’s blown.

I really don’t know what I love you means.

I think it means don’t leave me here alone.

And now here is my secret,
a very simple secret:
It is only with the heart
that one can see rightly;
what is essential
is invisible
to the eye. 

Show your teeth
Want so much to watch you hang
Show your teeth
Want so much to watch you cry
Show your teeth
Want so much to watch you hang
Show your teeth
I love this
Show your teeth
Show your teeth
Want so much to watch you cry
Show your teeth
I want so much

Someone told me once "you don't need to have an opinion about everything".
Not that I was THAT bad, but it did made me think things through more than once.


Goddamn, life is so much better since I took that advice! Seems so obvious but it's really some life changing shit.

I can't believe how much negativity we put onto ourselves for literally no reason and without even knowing it sometimes.

🥕🥕🥕

restless .

             . eyes

in all the good times I find myself
longing 
for change

and in the bad times I fear myself

you found the light in me
that I couldn't find



. I miss you

---

なんくるないさ

untitled unsettled

.
.
.
don't ever fcking let anyone
tell you
they're giving you enough

as if you were
too much

don't ever forget
everyone
deserves what they give
back and
what they want
you're allowed to decide

they are
the ones
not enough

.
.
run away.

.oh Hai

So these things happened

/

https://www.facebook.com/Sepukumetal

ghosts

~

.

/

"if the world could know what i know of you..

if everyone could know you as i do when you open up up your mind for me..

if they could see you with my eyes.. 

everyone

absolutely everyone would be so crazy about you as i am"

*

sit down in front of you

,curiosity
i didnt know that i know you

/

little red hiddingwolf

.who was going to eat who?

.run*